My Second Birth Story

I was going through my saved posts and I realized I never posted the birth story of my second child. It was over a year ago, but I really wanted to share it because it was such a beautiful and positive experience that I feel it can reassure future moms out there.

Let's get one thing straight before I get started though. Giving birth is giving birth. Even though my experience was positive, it wasn't easy and required a lot of strength, dedication and self-motivation (much like anything of value in life).

It all started on a Monday night. I had only just stopped working the previous Friday and I was looking forward to having a couple of weeks to pack my bags, get the baby's room ready, spend some quality alone time with my first son and relax a bit. It turns out my little bundle of joy had another plan for us.

At exactly 37 weeks of pregnancy, Z decided to make a surprise appearance into the world. I was excited to meet him but at the same time I was a bit scared. I think that's normal though, doesn't every mom panic when she goes into labor? I was actually pretty worried I'd deliver on the side of street midway to the hospital seeing as my first delivery went so fast.

I had an appointment with my OBGYN earlier that day, at around 5pm. After doing an internal exam (you know the one), she confirmed that I was neither dilated or effaced; as in, ZERO. Pretty normal for 37 weeks of pregnancy. I returned home completely oblivious to what was about to happen. I quickly cooked supper for my family and rushed to my prenatal yoga class on an empty stomach. When I returned home, I was pretty tired, so I went to relax in bed a few minutes as I checked social media on my iPhone. My husband walked in to bring me supper, so I moved over to sit up and that's when I felt it, this weird kind of "mini explosion" in my stomach, sort of like a balloon popping. My first thought: "Um, that's not normal."

Then it happened; as I stood up to get out of bed, water leaked between my legs. I was freaking out, I was like: "Oh my god, am I peeing? Wait, no, I can't be... I can't hold it in!! Oh my god oh my god is that what it's like to lose your water? That's so weird!" So I quickly made my way to the bathroom as water was literally gushing out of me. I never lost my water during my first delivery, so I had no idea!

Since we had absolutely nothing ready, my husband rushed around trying to wipe water off the floor and pack as quickly as he could. I couldn't help because every time I tried to move, more water came gushing out and we had to clean it up, so I just sat on the toilet and handled the panicking and the phone calls.

I called our babysitter so she could watch over my older son (who was sleeping for the night, thank god!) until my father arrived. After notifying my dad, I gave my mom a call. She was with my grand-mother taking care of my very sick grand-father. She was supposed to be part of my delivery team, but she was so far away that by the time she arrived, the baby was born. Boo-urns. Anyway, I remember giving my sister a call because I needed someone to talk to that could calm me down and help me focus.

The babysitter arrived and Antonio (my husband) had finished packing the car. I ended up having to put a dress on so that I could put a big rolled up towel between my legs to absorb the water which would not stop coming out! I'm pretty sure I scared our poor 11yo babysitter with that towel.

So we're in the car and I don't really have contractions, some mild discomfort, yes, but nothing too wild. Panic attacks though? Um, yes. I was so worried I would die in labor. I know, ridiculous in this day and age, but I'm a worry bug when it comes to things like that. We arrived at the hospital, parked the car relatively far since the parking lot is quite small and there's rarely any space available. I had no trouble walking all the way to the maternity ward.

We arrived and the nurse gave some forms to my husband and asked me to come in. She wanted me to sit so that she could plug me to a machine which would monitor the baby's heart. I was like, plug? Sure. Sit? Hell no. She was not happy because she couldn't watch the baby's heart rate if I wasn't sitting. Um, you can use your stethoscope lady, or some other tool. I know it's harder, but I don't care about your comfort, I care about my well being and the safe delivery of my child.

At this point I started having mild contractions, maybe every 2 or 3 minutes? Nothing unbearable. I kept telling her to bring me into a birthing room, that it wouldn't take long, but she wouldn't listen and she kept telling me to calm down. I think she was annoyed at me but I knew how my first delivery went and I didn't want to deliver in the hallway.

After about a half hour, she finally took me into a birthing room and since she hadn't offered a hospital robe, I took off all my clothes (one less thing to worry about). She sent another nurse and a student to take care of me, both of which had no idea what to do.

I asked for a birthing ball because I remembered how good it felt with my first. Sadly, it didn't work this time. When I tried to sit on it, the pressure on my pelvic area was unbearable. I had no clue how to position myself so I just stood up, placed my hands on the side of the bed and put my weight on my hands.

Contractions started to be a bit more intense at this point. I swayed from side to side between contractions and during contractions I squatted like a frog while doing my disturbingly long and low-pitched "ohm" sound. My husband was trying to massage my lower back and do pressure points like the nurse had shown him during my first delivery. Alas, he didn't remember where, or how, and it was doing more harm than good, so he stopped. He rubbed my back instead and brought me as many cold compresses as he could.

I remember the nurse asking me if I wanted laughing gas at one point and I'm pretty sure I gave her a death stare. I kept asking for things like ice and a massage and she didn't budge. I was seriously disappointed in the service she offered. To top it off, my mom hadn't arrived yet. I was doing it all alone. Next time I'm getting a Doula for sure.

Anyway, after a while I thought: "If this is anything like the first, I must be at around 7cm dilated now. It hurts so much and I have no help! I'm never going to make it to the end." I should have remembered that usually when you start wanting to give up, it's because the end is near...

Low and behold, it starts to push. I was in complete disbelief. I was like: "It's pushing, it's pushing!" I struggled to get onto the bed as the nurse said: "That's not possible, let's see how much you're dilated." As I got onto the bed on 4 legs, my body pushed a second time (note: my body, not me) and the head came out.

After that, all I remember is the doctor rushing in while putting her gloves on and asking: "Are you really going to deliver like that?" I starred. Enough said. She said push, I pushed once and the baby came out. He was born at 3 past midnight.

I turned, they put his little naked body on my chest and he pushed with his little arms to look up at me. It was magical. I let him snuggled with me a bit before helping him to my breast to eat. But that's another story...

What to Expect During Pregnancy

Becoming a parent is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It's so fulfilling and brings an immense amount of joy in my life.

Before I had children (and even now) I heard so many stories about difficult pregnancies, births and kids that I was scared to have any.  I didn't really know what to expect. Everyone is a little afraid of the unknown right?

For some reason, I still really wanted kids. There was something about the idea that made me feel complete.  And you know what? My experience was/is amazing! Sure, there were a few rough times like anything else in life, but in general, it was pretty positive.

So I decided to share my motherhood journey with all of you in order to reassure future mothers because beautiful and positive pregnancies do happen! I'll start with pregnancy, then talk about birth and work my way up to parenting.

Before I get started though, I just want to be clear; I don't doubt that some women have very difficult pregnancies and births, but my story is not like that and I just want to share it so that everyone knows that good experiences also happen.

So here we go... I'll start with my pregnancy symptoms and a few tips that helped me out. In green are the symptoms I had, in red are the symptoms I didn't have (but thought I would).

My symptoms

1. EXTRA SALIVA (1st trimester only)

Extra what? Yup, extra saliva. I was over salivating for 4 months in the beginning of both of my pregnancies. Has anyone ever heard of that? I sure hadn't... I had to carry this little spit bag around with an insane amount of Kleenex and spent half my days spitting because the extra saliva made me nauseous. I felt like a camel (or is it a lama?) and it was gross; Most-Annoying-Symptom-Ever.

2. NAUSEA (1st trimester only)

Although I didn't feel very nauseous during my first pregnancy, it really stepped up a notch during the second. It felt like the end of a cold mixed with the end of a stomach flu. For both pregnancies, it was more in the afternoons than in the mornings (no idea why they call it morning sickness), so the whole cracker before you get up thing didn't really apply to me. I'm guessing it's because I was tired so my body was less tolerant. Having an empty stomach at any time during the day was just a no-no. Whatever you do, do not let yourself go hungry; eat small bland tasting snacks All-Day-Long. I want to be reassuring though, if you do vomit, it's not like a stomach flu; it happens so fast you don't even have time to realize what's happening.

3. FATIGUE (1st trimester only)

Good god I-Was-Exhausted. During my first trimester (for both of my pregnancies), not only would I sleep a minimum of 14 hours a day, I would also fall asleep absolutely everywhere. The kind of falling asleep that you just can't help, the one where your eyelids close by themselves and your brain shuts off. I guess it's good it happens that way though, because when you sleep, you don't feel the nausea! Just a little trick. ;)

4. ALTERED SENSE OF TASTE & SMELL (1st trimester only)

Food aversions were particularly interesting, especially in the first trimester. I could smell absolutely everything, even if my nose was congested. How weird is that? Perfumes were overwhelming, chicken stank and my saliva was just yuk (see #1). There wasn't really anything that I just all of a sudden loved (when before I didn't), it was more smells and tastes making me nauseous. Sometimes I didn't even need to taste the food, just seeing it (and smelling it) was enough to know that it would make me sick.

5. BACK PAIN

I must say that I did not expect this, but during the last trimester of each of my pregnancies, I could not bend over...and sometimes it was painful to walk. (Let's be real though, the pain was manageable, it was nothing serious, and it passed quite quickly). I found that getting regular massages, seeing an osteopath and doing prenatal yoga (particularly the child pose and the cat cow pose) helped a lot.

6. MOOD SWINGS

Other than crying while watching Bamby, I can't really say I had mood swings. Then again, maybe you should ask my husband, he might have a different answer. :P

7. CRAVINGS

You're probably thinking: "doesn't every woman get cravings?" I've heard so many people talk about pickles and ice cream that I thought it happened to every pregnant woman out there. Interestingly, it doesn't. At least not to me. I didn't have any cravings in either of my pregnancies; maybe it's just a superstition, maybe it's because I ate very balanced or maybe it's just genetics.

8. STRETCH MARKS

Nope, nothing here. I thought for sure I would get stretch marks, but I didn't. I didn't even moisturize my skin during my second pregnancy. I guess I must have elastic skin. I never really thought about it before but I never got any stretch marks, ever. My guess is, if you're prone to them before you get pregnant, you're likely to get some while you're pregnant. Fear not though, they're proof that you're a wild tigress! Rawr! ;)

9. EATING FOR 2

Yes, a pregnant woman is technically feeding herself to provide nutrients for 2 beings. I have to say though, I expected to be eating a lot, but I didn't. I ate frequently, but only tiny portions (because I either felt sick or had no more space in my stomach!!)...so at the end of the day, I just ate a regular amount of food. I'm not sure if this one is just a common joke because pregnant women eat all day, or if it's actually true for some women.

10. DIFFICULTY SLEEPING

Difficulty what? I wasn't sure if I would, but this one never affected me. At least not unless I drank a liter of water before bed time. Then again... who wouldn't it wake up?

11. WATER RETENTION

Nope. Nothing here. Maybe that happens more in the summer or if you eat a lot of salty things?

12. FREQUENT NEED TO PEE

I probably did need to pee more often but to be honest, I didn't even notice. I did find that I had more trouble holding it in though, but I think that's because my little misters used my bladder as a trampoline!

A few words of advice

1. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY

This is probably the best and only advice you will need. Everyone will tell you different things, and you will find a lot of information on the internet, but you need to remember that the most important things are you and how you feel. Personally, I slept to avoid nausea. I slept to recover from exhaustion (which was prominent in my first trimester). I ate small amounts of food randomly throughout the day, everyday. 

2. SLEEP

If you are tired, sleep. I slept over 14 hours a night for each of my pregnancies in the first trimester, and I'm glad I did because it gave my body time to adjust to the boost in hormones... and most importantly, I had to deal with the nausea for a shorter period of time.

3. SNACK ALL DAY

I was reluctant at first because I didn't feel too good most of the time. I don't know about you but when I'm nauseous, the last thing I want to do is eat. Seriously tough (and I know this is counter-intuitive) eat! Not big meals. Small, regular bland snacks throughout the day. This will keep your stomach from being empty and reduce the nausea/vomiting you may be experiencing.

4. DRINK LOTS OF WATER

This one pretty much goes without saying. It will help with the nausea and will reduce a lot of the symptoms you might have by helping your body regulate itself.

5. LET THINGS GO

There will be a point where you will be too tired or too sore to care. Your whole life will seem upside down and may cause you stress. You'll need to learn to let the little things go, a skill that will come in handy once the little one arrives. You might think that every other pregnant woman (or mother) out there has it all together, but we don't, no one does. Just chillax, let the house get messy and let chores go undone. When in doubt, just go back to advice #1.

That's pretty much it. Even though it's a natural process, it isn't always easy. Just like anything in life, there are a few challenges. However, I can tell you that both my pregnancies were very manageable without any medical interventions (ie: pills) and quite pleasant for the most part. Take it one day at a time, and remember to trust your instincts.

Disclaimer: I am not a health professional, I am simply sharing my personal experience hoping to encourage future mothers. What worked for me may not work for you. Always consult your obstetrician with questions concerning your pregnancy.

Happy Mother's Day

What does your mom mean to you? What does being a mom mean to you?

A little late I know, but I hear late is better than never. So, happy Mother's Day! The lovely Nicole from Her and Nicole had the wonderful idea to ask a bunch of women what their mom, and being a mom, meant to them. This is what I answered.

My mom

...is the source of my inspiration. She made me who I am today and sets an extraordinary example for me. She always believes in me and gives me all the support I could ever wish for. Merci maman, je t'aime beaucoup!

Being a mom

...has put my entire existence back into perspective. It makes me understand what life is really all about; and I rediscover it through the innocent eyes of my child. As a mom, I learned what true happiness is and to love unconditionally. I also discovered my inner strength, and my ability to put another being's needs before my own. I am so fortunate to have an angel in my life.